A Simplified Summer

Hello there, Summer!

A couple of weeks ago, I tried to console my son as he cried himself to sleep. It was almost my daughter’s last day of school, while his particular school still had three weeks remaining after a very short break for Memorial Day. He doesn’t feel it’s fair. I get it.

It’s hard to think about everyone else enjoying their summer off while you’re still “stuck” in the classroom. I tried to make him feel better by reminding him that while he will be able to enjoy his summer off in just a few weeks, I will still have to go to work. I don’t get a summer break like he does.

I don’t know that it helped him feel any better, but I do know that suddenly I wanted to cry.

There are a few times when I wish I was either a stay-at-home or a work-from-home mom…snow storms, thunderstorms, Mondays…but especially summer. It always makes me a little sad to spend 10+ hours a day at work and commuting, missing out on a bunch of opportunities to enjoy summer activities. And yes, I know, it’s all a part of being an adult. There are bills to pay, responsibilities that aren’t always fun, and I know there are evenings and weekends for summer stuff. I get that. But doing summer in the margins isn’t as much fun.  And knowing that that's just life doesn’t mean it doesn’t bum me out, or that I shouldn't be allowed to complain at least just a little. It also doesn’t mean I can’t try to find ways to make it the most enjoyable summer possible for all of us.

That is what has inspired our family's theme for the season:

”A Simplified Summer”

My mission is to make it so that we, as full-time working parents, can enjoy the summer as much as possible with our kids. At 12 and 9, I see how limited our time is with them -- with about six and nine summers left them, respectively -- and summers can be such a memorable and magical time if you play your cards right. So for the last few weeks, I’ve been working on a list of things we can do to help give us more margin in our lives to enjoy the next few months.

What follows are some of my ideas, or what I am calling our “Guide to a Simplified Summer”:

No scheduled activities, such as sports.

Ok, this one is actually pretty easy for us. The kids aren’t in any activities, not even during the school year. We’ve tried soccer, dance and gymnastics, but my kids aren't into sports and I’ve never seen the value in forcing them to do something they don’t want to do. There have been SO many times I have felt such tremendous guilt about this, like we aren’t good parents if we don’t make our kids do at least one activity. But the truth is, I think we all enjoy not having places we have to be and packed schedules. It works for some. It doesn’t work for us. And I’m learning to be grateful for it and let go of all the guilt and shame that’s surrounded me in the past. Especially when it comes to summer.

Give the kids chores to do while they are home.

At their age, this is probably something we should have implemented before now, but here we are. Giving the kids a list of things they can do to help out, will mean less things on our to-do lists when we get home. So far, my daughter has done dishes, laundry and plant watering. 

Have water and pool snacks on hand.

Since my mom moved to town, we’ve had more opportunities to swim thanks to her apartment’s pool. Having snacks and bottled water on hand means that spur of the moment trips are easier to do. It’s especially helpful for trips made after work, when our time is even more limited.

Good “clean” sunscreen, and lots of it.

Nothing is a bigger summer bummer than being fried from too much sun. We all know how bad it is for your skin but being burned can also make you totally miserable and put the brakes on summertime fun while you recuperate. With my fair family’s skin we don’t stand a chance, so lots of sunscreen is a must for an enjoyable summer. This year we have invested in Sun Bum Mineral Sunscreen because of it’s cleaner ingredients and because mineral sunscreen is supposed to provide better protection from the sun’s UV rays. It is a little pricier but to me it’s worth paying a little more for something that is being applied to my family’s skin. I’ll let you know how it goes!

 Simple, guilt free meals.

Feeding the family a good dinner is one of the biggest stresses of my life. I want to feed them good, healthy stuff, but they are still pretty picky and I've discovered I'm not much of a cookbook-type of person. But this summer I'm not going to feel guilty when we all fend for ourselves, or want to eat something that might not be a traditional dinner meal. That means lots of spaghetti, frozen pizza, macaroni and cheese, quesadillas, and whatever they can find in the fridge. Plate full of cheese for dinner? Have at it!

Dump the Bucket List.

Bucket Lists seem like a great idea, but eventually they start to cause me great anxiety. I get to the end of a season and start feeling guilty for how little we've usually accomplished. Staring at a list of things we thought we wanted to do, which usually ends up being things we feel like we should do in order to consider it a "proper summer", with those empty boxes just waiting to be checked. So this year, instead of a bucket list, we will come up with a list of ideas to do when we are bored, or when its rainy, or when its sunny, or when we are too lazy, or have energy to burn. Things that actually sound like fun and actually interest us, not just things that sound like they should be on a list of summer activities.

Limited Access to the News
This is probably more for me than anyone else in the family, but I spend way too much time on websites and social media reading tweets or headlines about what's going on in the country and the world. That just makes me angry, frustrated, anxious, confused, and sometimes scared, and stresses me out for the rest of the day or even the week. I do believe it is important to know what is going on, but I also think that in this day of instant access to everyone's thoughts, it can muddy up the waters to where opinion and fact get mixed up and its hard to tell one from the other. While it should be something I just do all the time, this summer I'm going to limit how much I see and where I get my news from. I don't my free time to be consumed with the negative thoughts and feelings that the news can bring on with me.

My plan for this is pretty simple. I have signed back up for "The Skimm". If you are unaware, The Skimm is a daily email with snipits of some of the important headlines, a bit of the cliff notes version, with cute little entertaining comments along with it. I will also allow myself to watch the nightly news, both local and national, as they tend to be a little more fact based. But no CNN, no Twitter links.

Speaking of Twitter...I have found that making Twitter lists can be a very effective way of weeding out what you don't want to read at any given time. Personally, I have a NASCAR list, a Kansas City list, a "Happy Tweeters" list, and, of course, a This is Us list. For the most part, I know if I go on one of those I pretty much will just see that stuff, and a lot of times I get to weed out any news stuff I don't want to see. Sometimes, depending on who you put on your lists.

And for Mom - Me Time

I've long believed in the importance and the power of self-care. I used to think it was just being selfish, but now I truly believe the saying that you can't pour from an empty well. So in this season, I plan to focus on myself and my joy just as much as the kids, totally, completely, guilty free. In June, I'm participating in writer Kelle Hampton's (www.KelleHampton.com) "Ordinary Magic" course, and I'm participating in speaker and writer Annie F. Down's "100 Day to Brave Summer Challenge" (#100daystobravesummer on Instagram). And as I am finishing up this post, I'm spending the evening at my mom's apartment while she's out of town. All. By. My. Self. Just an evening completely by myself writing, reading, soaking in her nice, big bathtub, maybe I'll have a dance party. And there IS definitely wine!

What I am hoping is that the things on this list will help us to enjoy these moments and savor our summer. It's a work in progress, as I'm constantly trying to come up with more way to make our summer sweeter and more simplified. If you have any other ideas or suggestions, I'd love for you to share them in the comments or over on my Instagram @nikki_krone

Happy Summer Everyone!